By Imam Shamsi Ali – Director/Imam, Jamaica Muslim Center
PWMU.CO – The Muslim community living in the West faces numerous challenges. These include navigating life as immigrants in a new homeland, ensuring their children receive a good education and career opportunities, and existing in neighborhoods where they may not always feel welcomed.
However, their greatest concern revolves around their deen (faith)—their Islamic identity and the freedom to practice their religion. Many parents, in particular, are deeply worried about the future of their children and the generations to come. This fear is not unfounded. Numerous immigrant Muslims who settled in the West have witnessed their children lose connection with Islam over time.
Thus, addressing the future of our generations in the Western context is essential for the survival of our community. This discussion is not merely about academic or professional success. On this front, America remains a land of opportunity—a place where individuals can pursue higher education and build promising careers. I have met countless parents with humble occupations, such as taxi drivers or security personnel, who have managed to send their children to the most prestigious colleges and universities.
However, the real concern lies in preserving their deen—their faith and identity as Muslims. The society we live in often presents values and norms that conflict with Islamic teachings, creating significant challenges for young Muslims trying to uphold their faith. It is therefore understandable and logical for parents to worry about the survival of their children’s Islamic identity in this environment.
Helping Them Find Life Partners
One of the critical challenges facing our younger generation is finding suitable life partners—a wife for young men and a husband for young women. Many parents, both fathers and mothers, have personally reached out to me, expressing their concern that their children are growing older without marrying. In most cases, this is not because the children do not wish to marry. Rather, they struggle to find suitable or ideal candidates.
This presents a real dilemma for young Muslims. On one hand, they grow up in an environment where interaction between genders is commonplace, with friendships and communication across genders being normal. On the other hand, they are aware of Islamic teachings and ethics regarding gender interactions, particularly in the context of serious relationships like marriage.
This situation brings to mind a verse from the Holy Qur’an:
وَأَنكِحُواْ ٱلۡأَيَٰمَىٰ مِنكُمۡ وَٱلصَّٰلِحِينَ مِنۡ عِبَادِكُمۡ وَإِمَآئِكُمۡ ۚ إِن يَكُونُواْ فُقَرَآءَ يُغۡنِهِمُ ٱللَّهُ مِن فَضۡلِهِۦ ۗ وَٱللَّهُ وَٰسِعٌ عَلِيمٞ
“And marry the unmarried among you and the righteous among your male and female slaves. If they are poor, Allah will enrich them from His bounty, and Allah is all-Encompassing and Knowing.” (QS. An-Noor: 32)
From this verse, I would like to highlight two important points:
It is a duty upon believers to help the unmarried among them to marry. The verse contains a command (fi’l amr’) instructing believers to assist single individuals in finding spouses. Naturally, this involves helping them identify suitable and ideal candidates for marriage.
The command is addressed in plural form, meaning it is a collective obligation. While individual parents play a crucial role, Allah clearly expects the Ummah (community) to be actively involved in helping the unmarried get married.
The Role of Community
Community involvement, through Muslim organizations, community centers, and masajid, is vital in addressing this issue. Initiatives such as matchmaking events—or any appropriately named gatherings aligned with Islamic guidelines—are essential for this purpose.
Organizing such events, where unmarried members of the community can seriously pursue their intention to find suitable spouses, is not only permissible but encouraged by the Holy Qur’an.
While matchmaking events are not the only means of finding a spouse, they are practical and effective for those actively seeking a partner. Dismissing such events as un-Islamic or an innovation is baseless.
Hosting these events in masajid or Islamic centers offers additional benefits:
Pure Intentions: Since masajid are houses of Allah, those who attend are likely to have sincere intentions to please Allah.
Respecting Islamic Guidelines: Events held in Islamic centers are naturally governed by the rules of the house of Allah. Proper dress codes, the presence of guardians, and supervised interactions ensure adherence to Islamic principles. This prevents private, unsupervised meetings and fosters transparency.
For these reasons, major national Muslim organizations such as ISNA, MAS, and ICNA have taken the responsibility of organizing matchmaking events. I am confident that these organizations have sought guidance from knowledgeable Islamic scholars. ISNA, for instance, has its Fatwa council, the Fiqh Council of North America, which oversees such initiatives.
In Conclusion
Those who question the legitimacy of matchmaking events organized by Islamic organizations, centers, or masajid have no basis for their objections. Often, these objections stem from other motives or misunderstandings. Allah knows best!
It is time for our communities to prioritize this issue and take collective action. By doing so, we fulfill our responsibility as an Ummah and ensure the preservation of our future generations in faith, identity, and practice.
Jamaica Hills, 22 December 2024
Editor Notonegoro
